When I was in school, I had aspirations and goals, but I was not prepared for the concept that I was not completely in control. In my innocence, I imagined a world where desire, commitment, and a good attitude were all that I needed to achieve my dreams. I took my education seriously, worked hard, and strived to do my best, even if it was purely motivated by my competitive spirit. Somewhere along the way though, like all of my classmates, I realized that some of what we do as we move into adulthood, is a combination of our goals, effort, and reaction to those unexpected events that hinder us or interrupt us from time to time. Not everything goes the way we want it to.

High school is a time of big dreams, and most teenagers know this. However, one of the things that parents need to teach their children is how to positively handle those interruptions. They will come, and often parents do too much shielding of their children rather than training. This philosophy is not a popular one, but parents must train their children for all sorts of tasks and skills. It's the job of parents to prepare their children to live independently one day, to fully participate in active education for their own betterment, and to handle the setbacks or "no" answers that come, too.

One of the ways in which parents can do this is by sharing their own setbacks with their children.

Not everything will fall into this category, but certainly some of the experiences we have as adults can be lived out in the full view of our children. Depending on their age and emotional maturity, challenges like economic constraints, budgeting, job changes, interpersonal skills, health issues, etc. can be suitable opportunities to train and teach our children how to respond to setbacks.

We can also prepare our children to respond to life's limitations by not intervening for them every time they get themselves into a mess. This is perhaps the hardest challenge. We've all met the mom or dad who believes their child can do no wrong. This parent will do whatever it takes to "get justice" for their child. While that is admirable in some cases, it also does not allow the child to grow into independence. Allowing the child to handle the "mess" themselves is a harder, but possibly a more admirable and worthy action.

Adults understand all too well the idea that sometimes in life, adjustments have to be made. Roger Babson said, "It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final." If we fail to teach our children how to respond to the failures, setbacks, and limitations, then we have failed to fully prepare our children fully. I challenge you to consider this the next time there is a challenge or difficult situation in your family's experiences.Camille Rodriquez